This is not an album review: Katy Perry – 143, 2024 (Anti-Review)

Katy Perry’s new album 143 is the musical equivalent of a rock hitting your windshield on the freeway: minor impact but becomes a major inconvenience and waste of time to assess.

I’m sure you’ve heard countless critics and former fans shit all over this album already, so I want to offer a different perspective. To understand how we ended up here at 143, we have to evaluate where we’ve been.

The beginning of the end, Katy’s 2017 outing Witness was undoubtedly the epitome of cringe in its marketing approach and single selection, but a few deep cuts shone through the massive pile of garbage. “Power,” “Chained to the Rhythm,” and “Bigger Than Me” showed there was perhaps something redeemable under all the rubbish. Right?

And here’s the thing: I actually like Katy Perry’s last album Smile.

On a critical level, it is a hot mound of shit. On a personal enjoyment level, it’s great. There are some real—albeit overly polished—pop bangers on there like “Never Really Over” with its immaculate production (thanks, Zedd) and “Cry About It Later” with its pulsating rhythm. Katy gets a little personal about overcoming struggles and public ridicule on songs like “Resilient,” “Daisies,” and “Not the End of the World.” And some underrated gems like “Tucked” and “Champagne Problems” will remind listeners of the more carefree Teenage Dream or One of the Boys. Yes, the lyrics are pretty nonsensical on some songs, like “Harleys in Hawaii,” but somehow I still find it to be an enjoyable trainwreck—or motorcycle accident.

And I would be remiss to not mention some of the non-album singles surrounding the Smile era, such as “Small Talk,” “365 (with Zedd),” “Electric,” and “Never Worn White,” all solid anthems with easily digestible messages and straight-forward pop musical accessibility. (There’s also “When I’m Gone” with Alesso, which came out at the very end of 2021. It’s a bit after the Smile era, but it fits that same mold.)

Smile is awful; I love it.

But Smile also revealed an ongoing … problem. The album’s title track first released with a featured guest, but it has now been so heavily erased from the internet, it almost feels like a Mandela-effect-induced misremembering. “Smile” originally featured Diddy, a known abuser in the music industry. Seriously, you expect me to believe no one in Katy’s camp knew about his allegations before green-lighting the collaboration?

They scrubbed his feature from the song after a bit on listening platforms, and you can only find it now on certain physical copies of the album which I assume had already been pressed before the decision to remove him. Some fan-uploaded videos are still floating around out there with Diddy’s feature, but almost all of them have less than 500 views. (Also, Katy was hanging out with Diddy many years prior, circa 2017 or 2018.)

Katy Perry herself was also the subject of negative backlash in a similar vein after surprise kissing a young American Idol contestant without his consent, an old video of her sexually groping then-underaged popstar Justin Bieber resurfaced, and another video of her groping a young Shawn Mendes also came under scrutiny. (It’s exceedingly possible there were many other acts that weren’t caught on camera.) She was also accused of bullying American Idol female contestants, which did not bode well in tandem with and appeared antithetical to her “female empowerment” messaging.

I know you’re probably thinking, “Come on, what does an artist’s personal mistakes have to do with their art?” in regards to both Katy and Diddy. Look, while some listeners may be able to separate the art from the artist, most of us have a beating heart and just feel viscerally icky listening to the music of and supporting abusers.

So 143 happened. And dear God, it only gets worse.

Every song except “Wonder” was produced and cowritten with Łukasz Gottwald, more widely and professionally known as Dr. Luke. If you’ve been living under a rock, Dr. Luke assaulted and raped pop artist Kesha among other horrific, disgusting things. She basically lost a legal battle over it, but she went on to make lemonade on her 2017 comeback album Rainbow. Dr. Luke walked away without so much as a scratch on his reputation in the industry, although conscious consumers heavily frowned upon his continued inclusion.

So tell me why the hell Dr. Luke produced and cowrote Katy’s latest female empowerment single “Woman’s World”? It feels beyond empty and overall phony. I genuinely wonder if Katy was forced to endure making an album with Dr. Luke as some kind of punishment by her record label for her back-to-back commercial flop-fests in 2017 and 2020. Has anyone checked in on her? Is she okay?

Then again, birds of a feather flock together. Given that Katy is no saint herself, I’m really not all that surprised. Plus, Katy routinely worked with Dr. Luke on past albums pre-Witness, so what’s new?

Truly, it’s disheartening to watch one of the 21st century’s most successful popstars fall from grace in this manner. Think back to 2008 when songs like “Hot n Cold” and “I Kissed a Girl” dominated radio airwaves. Remember the early 2010s when Katy’s pop behemoth Teenage Dream was inescapable? It was unignorable for good reason: that album slaps! She achieved three solid years of hit singles from that one record and its deluxe version, raising her chart numbers to rival only Michael fucking Jackson. Teenage Dream is without a doubt one of the best pop albums of the 2010s. Her 2024 VMAs performance seemed to be an attempt at reminding the general public of her stature.

We can give Katy Perry her flowers and criticize her, too.

As a guilty Smile enjoyer, I have facilitated numerous conversations over the past four years with coworkers and friends about exactly how monumental Katy’s career has actually been. It seemed like people wanted to forget—or even erase—her success after 2017’s embarrassing Witness era. I tried to introduce former fans to her newer material because I could still identify glimpses of Katy’s initial appeal buried under all the dirt.

But 143 is the final nail in the coffin. It’s indefensible. Not only are the optics and implications of working with Dr. Luke horrendous, the album itself is also piping hot garbage. From pure speculation, it’s clear the label was desperate for Katy to return to whatever might have made her popular in the first place. Maybe it’s the mindless lyrics? Maybe it’s the boring production? Maybe it’s working with Dr. Luke? Maybe it’s the hair? Whatever it was, we have to bring it back!

They fail to realize that Katy became so likable because of her outlandish nature and unabashed expression. Releasing an ~edgy~ album with a song titled “Ur So Gay” but also kissing a girl and enjoying it? That’s intriguing! Her scantily-clad flaunting on “California Gurls” and sloppy drunk partying on “T.G.I.F. (Last Friday Night)”? That’s fun! Catchy pop hooks and empowering fight songs on Prism? That’s radio gold, baby!

When her quirky escapades became theatric and attention-seeking throughout the release of Witness, that’s when her eccentric demeanor became inauthentic and unlikable. Leaning into the clown insults through the aesthetics on Smile was salt in the wound and only made the public take her less and less seriously. All the lyrics about resilience showcased on that album were simultaneously too stodgy for the average listener to care about and yet too provocative to enjoy on a pop-friendly level.

So Katy’s team wants to revert back to the basics: senseless lyrics, upbeat pop songs, and, well, dark hair. Focus on her body, focus on her clout, focus on anything but what makes her genuinely human. Her overly airbrushed, chrome-gilded image for the 143 era turns out to be plainly unrelatable and increasingly lifeless. Any unique personality that Katy had left in her has been stripped away and covered up. She has become a husk, a sad shell for her label to milk dry and make a quick buck off name recognition, featured guests, and outrage. (Seriously, this album feels like ragebait. It’s like it’s intentionally bad so everyone talks about it.)

From this perspective, I almost feel bad for Katy Perry.

This is not an album review. I’m not here to break down every track and give my thoughts. I’m judging this more as a situation holistically. I believe context is important when discussing and critiquing music, even though this album has such little substance; it’s hard to properly critique something when there’s simply nothing much there. Separating the art from the artist is a coward’s poorly rationalized excuse to deflect from pondering why they choose to support something or someone so irredeemable.

From this perspective, I don’t almost feel bad for Katy Perry.

Did Taylor Swift Rip Off All Time Low on “So Long, London”?

Taylor Swift just released her latest album The Tortured Poets Department, and her highly-anticipated “track 5” is a farewell to her love life in the United Kingdom, “So Long, London.”

The song is believed to be about her English ex Joe Alwyn, or exes if we include Matty Healy of The 1975. It’s a somber ballad detailing the collapse of their romance, underlined by a pulsating beat with writing help from Aaron Dessner of The National fame.

Taylor Swift is known for designating the fifth track on her LPs for the most emotional or personal songs. Fans have speculated for years about this so-called theory, and although the trend may have started as a coincidence, Swift has played into it with her more recent albums. The first record where she acknowledged the theory was her 2019 full-length Lover.

“So Long, London” has piqued our interest for a different reason, however. The melody presented in the chorus of this song is awfully similar to that of “So Long Soldier” by Baltimore pop punk band All Time Low, which was released twelve years prior in 2012 on their album Don’t Panic.

The similarities between the two melodies typically wouldn’t be enough to warrant raised eyebrows. But it’s not just the melody. Both choruses begin with the words “so long,” and that coupled with the melody is what seems so damning.

Are we claiming Taylor Swift ripped off All Time Low? No. But it sure does seem a little too close for comfort. Coincidentally, “So Long Soldier” also mentions London. The first verse details how frontman Alex Gaskarth emigrated from the UK to the United States: “Back in ’95 / A little boy from just outside of London / Took a fated trip across the ocean.”

It is worth mentioning that the two tunes in question are written in separate albeit both major keys, but even the tempo is close. A quick 160 beats-per-minute in “So Long, London” rivals an even brisker yet nearby 190 beats-per-minute in “So Long Soldier.”

What do you think? If I were on Swift’s legal team, I might go ahead and start penning a defense…

Credit: Ashley Osborn

11 Things That PROVE Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran Are More Suspiciously Connected Than We Thought

Any pop music fan knows that Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, two of the biggest stars in the industry, share a close friendship. They’ve collaborated many times throughout the years and seem to hold an unbreakable bond with one another. But despite their singular stardom, their combined dominance may be more calculated than you might think. Here are eleven things that 100% prove Ed and Taylor have way more in common than what meets the eye. Like, suspiciously way more. Are they plotting to take over the entire music industry? Wake up, sheeple.

1. This vocal run that shows up on both “The A Team” and “seven”

Ed’s song “The A Team” was originally released in 2011 as a single for his album + (Plus) and remains one of his most popular songs. Near the end of the tune, Ed begins riffing some heartfelt vocal runs to complement the emotion. But in Taylor’s song “seven,” which came out nine years later in 2020, she emulates a very similar sounding vocal run. Take a listen…

2. Ed and Taylor both have songs titled “Afterglow”

While many artists have songs with this title, it seems oddly suspicious that Taylor and Ed would simultaneously be among them. Taylor’s 2019 album Lover features the passionate deep cut “Afterglow,” which quickly became a fan favorite. A little more than a year later, Ed released his first solo single in over three years, and what was it titled? That’s right. “Afterglow.” Curious.

3. Ed and Taylor both have songs titled “The Man”

Although the subject matter discussed on their respective songs varies greatly, Ed and Taylor have also both released tunes named “The Man.” Ed’s song came out in 2014 on his magnum opus × (Multiply) and details his personal struggles in a relationship due to his celebrity status and touring lifestyle. Taylor’s song was unleashed as a single in 2019 for her full-length Lover and explores the double standards between men and women in the music industry. But isn’t it a bit odd that they have both released songs called “The Man”? We think so.

4. Ed has a song titled “One” and Taylor has a song titled “the 1”

Okay, so these titles aren’t as strikingly similar as the past two, but still. “One” served as the opening track on Ed Sheeran’s 2014 record × (Multiply), and “the 1” was also included as the opening track on Taylor Swift’s 2020 album folklore. A little sus…

5. Taylor references “Shape of You” by Ed on her song “Dress”

Obviously, Ed Sheeran didn’t invent the phrase “shape of you,” but it is the title of his biggest hit and one of the most popular songs of the 2010s. Released in January of 2017, “Shape of You” immediately dominated radio rotations and Spotify playlists to promote his next record ÷ (Divide). But later that same year, Taylor Swift released her album reputation, a noticeable shift for her public image and a turning point in her career. “Dress,” a sultry hidden gem on the record, presents the lyric “There is an indentation in the shape of you.” But this line doesn’t appear just once. It shows up in the opening verse of the song and the closing tag of the song.

6. Taylor references “Shape of You” by Ed again on the song “Renegade”

But wait, there’s more. Taylor uses the phrase yet again in the song “Renegade,” a collaboration with Big Red Machine (the superduo of Justin Vernon and Aaron Dessner) in 2021, four years after “Dress” and “Shape of You.” “The shape of you was jagged and weak,” she sings, and just like in “Dress,” the line is included in the opening verse of the tune. Interesting…

7. Ed was an ambassador for the streetwear brand HOAX for many years and Taylor has a song titled “hoax”

Ed was a big fan of the UK skate and streetwear clothing company HOAX for quite some time before becoming an official brand ambassador in 2017. He was very invested in repping the local brand from his home county in the UK and almost exclusively wore HOAX throughout the ÷ (Divide) era during public appearances. Lo and behold, in 2020, Taylor drops a song titled “hoax” as the standard edition album closer on folklore. Coincidence? We think not.

8. Justin Vernon & Bon Iver

Taking a look at × (Multiply), Ed Sheeran’s 2014 long-player, he references Bon Iver twice. First on the track “Nina” where he sings, “Under the covers where we used to lay / And ‘re:Stacks’ is what the speakers played,” and later on the tune “The Man” with the line “Recently, I tend to zone out up in my headphones to ‘Holocene.'” But Ed has never released a collaboration of some sort with Bon Iver. Taylor actually beat him to it. On her 2020 sister albums folklore and evermore, Taylor worked extensively with frontman Justin Vernon and featured Bon Iver on two songs, one from each full-length, “exile” and “evermore.” Justin also contributed backing vocals and songwriting on a number of tracks. In 2021, the musicians recrudesced with the tunes “Renegade,” a single, and “Birch” for the Big Red Machine album How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? But we’re asking a different question: When will Ed Sheeran and Bon Iver finally collab?

9. Aaron Dessner & The National

Another person who artists are chomping at the bit to get a slice of. Like with Justin Vernon, Taylor worked largely with Aaron Dessner on folklore and evermore, and The National was featured on the latter album’s song “coney island.” Aaron and Taylor also completed some of the bonus tracks on her latest chart-topper Midnights. Of course, Aaron is also part of Big Red Machine. In 2021, Ed Sheeran finally took the opportunity to work with Aaron for his upcoming album – (Subtract). Aaron co-wrote ten out of eighteen tracks and has instrumental performer credits on many more.

On March 2, 2023, Ed took to Instagram to write in a caption: “So in 2021, I got a message from @taylorswift to link me up with @aarondessner. She thought he and I would make something great together. I have to be honest, I was a bit reticent to work with him that soon after folklore and evermore because I felt that was Taylor’s thing and they had both been done so perfectly. But we met for dinner, chatted about life and music, and he promised to send me some instrumentals for me to write over whenever inspiration hit. As soon as I got them, I loved the whole overall vibe of it and knew that one day I would write to them. … It’s just been the most incredible process, and an album I’m so bloody proud of. Thanks to Aaron and Jon for the insane amount of hard work and dedication you put into this project, and bringing out a side of me I had put on mute for so long. And of course, thanks to Swizzle, as always, you rock x”

Aaron posted on Instagram that same day with the caption: “I was introduced to @teddysphotos through @taylorswift when I helped produce their song “Run” for Taylor’s Version of Red last year. … Some time later [Ed and I] met up in New York City for dinner and talked at length about music and life. It felt so relaxed and as if we already knew each other. … I couldn’t be more proud of this record and the vulnerability and honesty Ed showed in making these songs with me. … Thanks so much to Ed for trusting me to help him on his journey as an artist.”

And would you look at that. Taylor will appear on the song “The Alcott” for The National’s new album The First Two Pages of Frankenstein, due in late April. Strange…

10. The amount of collabs between the two of them (and the depth they go into)

“Everything Has Changed” was the first time Ed and Taylor collaborated on a tune, released in 2012 on Taylor’s acclaimed album Red. Ed then featured on Taylor’s track “End Game” in 2017 for reputation, and Taylor hopped on a re-released version of Ed’s song “The Joker and the Queen” in 2021 for = (Equals). That same year, Taylor blessed fans with an unreleased bonus track from the vault for Red (Taylor’s Version) titled “Run,” which of course featured Ed. Ed’s verse on “End Game” contains a number of references to his own song lyrics, and the single artwork for “The Joker and the Queen” displays a queen-of-hearts with heavy resemblance to Taylor. Make no mistake, these are highly intentional choices.

11. The first verse of Ed’s song “Tides”

“Tides” is the opening song from Ed Sheeran’s 2021 record = (Equals), and how does he start it off? That’s right, referencing his collaboration with Taylor Swift. “I have grown up, I am a father now / Everything has changed, but I am still the same somehow.” And he had to have known he would be re-recording the song with her that same year! How devious.


There you have it, folks. Cold, hard evidence that Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift have colluded much more than we could have imagined to take over the music industry.

… Although all the “evidence” we’ve laid out here is true and factual, we are of course playing things up for April Fools. Hope you enjoyed!